I love having long talks about life with friends. it is seriously the best thing ever. i love it because we can grow so much in friendship when we share whats happening in our lives with others and talk about what we can pray for. i feel so blessed that i have friends i can do that with and i am so stoked that i have friends who genuinely love Jesus. it wasn't until a couple weeks ago after a bible study when i really realized how lucky i am in it made me so happy. having fellowship with other christians is one of the best things i have ever experienced and i absolutely love all of my friends. i do not really thing any of you know how much you guys mean to me. you encourage me, pray for me, give me advise and insight, and just make me happy.
Something i was just thinking about was the idea of relationships and marriage and that whole deal. Something that is so far in the future...and potentially right in front of me. I want so badly to meet the girl god has planned for me, but i can very realistically see that never happening. Its not even just the idea of me doing something wrong, just the idea of never meeting that right person. It is not that hard of a concept i think. I try to tell myself i am content with whatever god gives me, and for the most part i am. But it is not easy. Anyone knows it is not easy to give up what they want. How much harder is it to just believe whole heartedly that gods will is good? I struggle with that. Not that i doubt god is in control and he is good. I struggle with wanting things that i know i may not get (speaking of marriage).
I would like more than anything to meet a girl who loves me for the dork that i am. Someone who puts up with all the stupid things i do. I get mad like anyone else, i do things i regret, i have probably have annoying habits and probably have a pretty bad sense of fashion. It would be solid if there was someone who loved me despite all my crappy qualities. Rather, not only put up with them, but liked them. Of course it is not one way and i would have to feel identically. At the current moment, i really want to meet a girl who has a genuine love for the lord where we can just grow in our relationship with him together. we could minister to each other and serve each other. Study together, pray together. that is what i want. someone who could be my partner. Someone who would want to just hang out and do nothing together, watch tv, go bike riding, skiing, go to concerts, or anything else. It would be so chill if i met someone who would go do things that she doesn't like but will put up with it just cause she know its something i want to do and visa versa. In a nut shell, i want a best friend. A best friend that will always be there and will have the same love fore me as i would her. I probably sound stupid and am just rambling but whatever it is like 1am.
